Jeff Goldblum’s Dinosaur-Based Sex Move

Adam Biesenthal Photography
Adam Biesenthal Photography

Jeff Goldblum looks really charming running from the dinosaur in this wedding photo. He’s not playacting fear; he is clearly aware of being Jeff Goldblum, star of two “Jurassic Park” movies, doing what he was born to do.

Is that it? Is that what’s behind the wry expression and running pose that looks more like the little dapper dance of a slightly older man? Is this just fun, is this just how Jeff Goldblum has fun? Maybe when he gets a high score on a video game (a “Jurassic Park” video game!) or is attending a really excellent concert by his favorite band (Dinosaur Jr? The Byrds?), that is how he looks.

No, there’s more going on there. Look at that face. Look at the angle of his shoulder. He is flirting. He is making sexy face and doing slithery, dance-like running at you with a T. Rex behind him.


See how natural he appears. It’s not just that Jeff Goldblum has previously escaped dinosaurs. It’s that Jeff Goldblum’s best move is to be dinosaur-adjacent. You see, the beast gets your heart pumping; your pupils dilate; suddenly you are aware of yourself as a mortal being, a creature made of edible flesh. You are aware of yourself as a physical creature.

A physical creature with physical needs.


It is then that Jeff Goldblum knows you are his. Every guy has a go-to move. For many, it’s the fake yawn. George Costanza’s dad had “the stop short.” Maybe you speak softly to draw her in for the kiss. Perhaps you merely gaze into her eyes.

For Jeff Goldblum, it is dinosaurs. “Jeff,” you say, as the two of you walk along the beach of a tropical island owned by an eccentric rich man, “this has been such a perfect night.”

“Just wait,” Jeff Goldblum says, and looks to the puddle in the road, now rippling in concentric circles. “Just wait.”

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